My Sincerest Apologies

To all 5 or 6 people who read this blog, I apologize sincerely. The past 7 days have not been the greatest. I mean, they’ve been okay, but just kind of crazy. A chain of events occurred that made me very upset and slightly angry. This triggered some posts that were very unlike me. I just had all these different people running to me saying, “Fix it. Make things work out.” I know that I cannot do those things, and I wanted to help as much as I could. But, when the day was over, I had so much on my mind, and didn’t know where to turn. Now that things have calmed down, I am thinking, “Madi, you are ridiculous, why didn’t you just let God handle the whole thing. Why didn’t you tell him about it?” The truth is, I was impulsive, and posted all my feelings on Mr.Blog over here. I fully realize my mistakes, and next time, I will keep this between me and God, not me and the blog. Again, I apologize, and am pleading for forgiveness. I promise to go back to being the real Madi (not her enraged twin), and to only post good feelings. No bad vibes here.

A Day Full of Nothing

Today was a very good day. I just woke up in a super good mood (I usually do), and I was ready to leave the house on time. That’s always a good thing. Ummm…I had to take a math quiz that I had totally forgotten about, but I’m pretty sure I did well. It will definitely beat the 60 that I got on the last one. That was very out of character for me, but everybody makes bad grades occasionally. (Unless you’re Kaitlyn or Will). Spanish class went very well. Everyone was very respectful, and we got work done. Bible was good. We went through Colossians, which is one of my very favorite books of the Bible. Art was kind of lonely. Yungkyung wasn’t there, Riley wasn’t there, and Amanda was working on her dremel project at another table, so I got kind of lonely. Kendall sat and talked to me for a while. Psychology should have been boring, but Evan and I made it fun (at least for ourselves). Coach Adcock had a meeting, so he left us a boatload of worksheets that we didn’t know the answers to. Evan and I bothered Will and wrote him a letter of admiration. It was great! He acted like he didn’t enjoy reading it, but we are sure it was the most beautiful thing he had ever read. It said something like, “Will Smith plays the piano. He will be a famous musician one day. Will loves chocolate cake, and any other kind of chocolate. Will loves Madi and Evan SO much…especially when they whisper in his ear just to annoy him. But, Will is fabulous and amazing, and everybody thinks he’s a superhero.” How much more inspiring could it get? Well, I suppose I’ll stop here because I have a gazillion math problems that I have to finish before 5:50 because we are going to dinner at the Barnette’s house. They are the sweetest people ever, and we might just invite them to Freedom because they are looking for a church.

Yesterday, I was reading in My Utmost for His Highest and the devotion really opened my eyes, so I decided to post it here (my thoughts come after it):

If you become a necessity to someone else’s life, you are out of God’s will. As a servant, your primary responsibility is to be a “friend of the bridegroom” (John 3:29 ). When you see a person who is close to grasping the claims of Jesus Christ, you know that your influence has been used in the right direction. And when you begin to see that person in the middle of a difficult and painful struggle, don’t try to prevent it, but pray that his difficulty will grow even ten times stronger, until no power on earth or in hell could hold him away from Jesus Christ. Over and over again, we try to be amateur providences in someone’s life. We are indeed amateurs, coming in and actually preventing God’s will and saying, “This person should not have to experience this difficulty.” Instead of being friends of the Bridegroom, our sympathy gets in the way. One day that person will say to us, “You are a thief; you stole my desire to follow Jesus, and because of you I lost sight of Him.”

Beware of rejoicing with someone over the wrong thing, but always look to rejoice over the right thing. “. . . the friend of the bridegroom . . . rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease” ( John 3:29-30  ). This was spoken with joy, not with sadness-at last they were to see the Bridegroom! And John said this was his joy. It represents a stepping aside, an absolute removal of the servant, never to be thought of again.

Listen intently with your entire being until you hear the Bridegroom’s voice in the life of another person. And never give any thought to what devastation, difficulties, or sickness it will bring. Just rejoice with godly excitement that His voice has been heard. You may often have to watch Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it (see Matthew 10:34  ).

While reading this, God opened my eyes to the fact that I tend to be one of those amateur providences a good bit in my life. There are people who depend on me for things that they should be depending on God for. I’m not really sure why, but I have a feeling that it needs to stop. I need to help them realize that I cannot provide security, a sense of belonging, words of wisdom, or the love that God can. I’m not sure what it is that leads them to believe I can do things like that, but I cannot. I am a very sympathetic person and tend to “take people under my wing” that are going through struggles. I’m not exactly sure where to take things from here, but something needs to be done. What Matthew 10:34-42 says greatly applies to this, and it’s something I hadn’t read in a while.

Sing it out, Jesus is ALIVE

It’s EASTER!!! What a wonderful Easter it has been. A good many people accepted Christ today in church. I loved the two services. I got to help with the kids @ 9:30 and go to service @ 11:00. I think I’m really going to enjoy that. The message today was great, and I know it spoke to a big group of people.

It was kind of an odd Easter…mainly because everything was kind of new. It’s weird looking in your Easter basket all alone in the dark at 5:30 in the morning. It was a good kind of different though. New church, new family traditions, new friends to celebrate with, new because Mitchell decided he doesn’t believe in the fluffy white guy this year, and new because it was a new chapter in my life. I really love where God is taking me.

We celebrated Easter with my dad’s side of the family at PaPa’s house this year. We combined it with Mitchell and Uncle David’s birthdays this year. That was odd. Alyssa and I watched most of Enchanted instead of hunting eggs this year. Mitch and Tanner didn’t want to hunt for eggs either. I think it made all the adults kind of sad. Tanner’s 20, Alyssa’s 18, I’m 16, and Mitchell is 11 now. It’s crazy how things change before you even realize it. You can’t blink or you’ll miss something.

Good Kind of Crazy

So, today is Mitchell’s birthday, and it has been one thing after the other. It’s a good kind of crazy-busy though. School was good today…not too much to deal with because it was only a half day. We had a little Easter egg hunt at the end of the day because you’re never too old to look for eggs. They were basically just thrown all over the sanctuary floor. After that, about 12 of us high schoolers walked to the Boys and Girls Club to hide eggs for them. Then, we went to BBQ Street. Never order ice cream there; it comes in a little Styrofoam container. Kind of icky. Oh, and never share your ice cream with Will because he’ll draw pictures in it and sculpt it until it’s halfway melted.

Kathryn came home with us after all that, and we helped decorate for Mitchell’s party. We had about 2 hours before we had to go get the boys, so we decided to take Pirate Pete the Pinata for a wagon ride through the neighborhood. Then, I got the bright idea to ride down one of the monstrous hills in my neighborhood in the wagon. We got bored taking turns down the same old hill over and over. We wanted something more intense and exciting. So, we hiked all the way to the front of the neighborhood, and we planned to both get in the wagon and ride through the entire main street of the neighborhood all the way to the end of the street. Well, before I finish the story, you should know that this wagon is one of those little Radio Flyers, and it’s close to 20 years old. You should also know that our neighborhood is like a waterfall. Starting at the entrance going down, the road drops and levels out, but doesn’t go uphill. So we both hop on and push off. We really got nowhere, so we had to keep pushing until we got to a steeper hill. We almost got hit by several motorcycles and cars, and we got some strange looks from passersby, but it was worth it. Nobody died, and we actually picked up some speed at one point. It was great.

Of course, Kathryn went home, and left me with thirteen 10 and 11 year old boys. And, what’s more, they’re spending the night! I need prayer!

A Typical day of a Not-so-Typical Girl

Today was pretty much everything BUT exciting. It was crazy, confusing, good, rainy, boring, and just…well…everything except exciting. It was report card day. I did pretty well. I could have done better in Algebra 2, but I am not very good at checking my work on tests and homework. I know you’re not supposed to compare yourself to others, but I am pretty much never satisfied until my grades are as high as Will’s. I love him like a brother, but I get irritated when I can’t make as high grades as the kid who skipped 7th grade. It’s actually really funny. So, I just started looking at the GPA, and I don’t feel as bad about myself because we have the same GPA.  I know I’m ridiculous. Art was probably the most exciting part of my day today. We had it in Mr.Miller’s room because it was pouring down rain, and I was one of the few actually willing to walk a mile across the parking lot in that kind of weather. We did swirly drawings. Mine’s all swooshy, green, and blue like the waves in the ocean. I was kind of sad that I didn’t get to work on my box because I am so far behind on projects in that class. I have about 3 that I have waiting for me to do. Art class is always interesting because of the people in there. There are people in there who play every sport known to man, people who gossip as their sole hobby, really good artists, people who love to sing, and then there’s Madi…who enjoys not falling under a “category.” Yep, it’s pretty much great not being like anyone else. Individuality is something very valuable to me. I enjoy not having a clone or a pack of followers. Things like that can distort a person’s perspective on almost everything. The only thing I strive to be is what the Bible tells me to be. We talked about the Fruits of the Spirit today in Bible. A really good question came up in our books. It read something like this, ”Which fruits of the spirit are most clearly seen in your life, and which are not as evident.” It really made me stop and think. We know that the Fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I quickly came to the conclusion that peace, faithfulness, and self-control are the areas that I struggle in the most. Peace is probably my worst. I am always worrying about something. I know there’s no need to, but I just worry about the my friends and the people I love. Rarely do I worry about myself, but peace still does not come easily. Faithfulness is a pretty broad topic, and there is definitely a whole bunch of room for improvement. Self-control is sometimes evident in my life, but other times, not so much. I think all people are that way though. No earthly soul has perfect self-control. Even though I do better in those other things like love and joy, there’s always room for improvement. My prayer is that God will help me make those improvements that I need in order to draw closer to Him.

I am ready to escape.

Yes, I am ready for spring break. I am counting down the days until it’s time to go hang with the Amish people in Pennsylvania. I am excited. School got really old really fast after winter break. There’s so much drama (I guess you call it that) going on at school. I am happy to not be involved, but it gets old hearing about it. Psychology class was a nightmare. We talked about motivation, seeking sensation, and finding fulfillment. It sounds interesting and all, but people twist it into something so worldly and materialistic. You know something has gone terribly wrong when only a few kids out of about 20 something actually find joy and inner rewards out of doing things with no external gratification. That was just part of it. There was also the matter of, “What gives you fulfillment.” Yes, there was actually someone in the class that pointed at another girl and said, “Well, she’s pretty.” For these people, life is all about appearances, material possessions, and, believe it or not, revenge. It was said by one person that people who get picked on bring it upon themselves. The teacher then asked them, “What world are you living in.” What kind of person wants to get revenge on someone who has never done anything to them in their life. There’s no revenge to be had. Even if there were, it wouldn’t matter because, “‘Vengeance is mine,’ saith the Lord.” It rips my heart into shreds to see people who just don’t care to know what true fulfillment can be like. I have tried and tried to explain it to these people, but they just don’t care to know and I don’t know what else to do. I want them to have what I have so badly. What I have is real, and it will never leave me. What I have is more than I deserve or could ever ask for. Blessings abound more and more every day in my life because of WHAT I HAVE. I thank God for making me, well,me. I thank God for giving me parents who care enough to teach me the things that are genuine instead of superficial. Being with all those superficial materialistic people at school every day often moves me to tears. They just don’t understand, nor do they care to understand, and that is one of the biggest mistakes they could ever make. I know that it’s not my place to judge them. All I can do is pray that someday they will care.

Happy St.Patrick’s Day!

A great St.Patty’s Day it has been! Today reminds me of the day that all us older kids at the barn told little Jennifer about catching leprechauns just to get her out of our hair and occupied until lunch. She kept her dad out until about 11 that night looking for them. It was funny, but her dad wasn’t too happy with us. Haha!

I went to the barn today after school. It took over an hour to get there, and it usually takes 15-20 minutes. There was some extreme traffic from road work and tornado damage. I had fun with Miss Sky. She is so great. I hopped on her without bothering to tack up…for times sake. So, we clip-clopped around for about 15 minutes, then we played around outside. I know it sounds weird, but we actually have fun “playing” together. Horses are actually very smart. Dad picked me up, and we looked at all the tornado damage on 113 and Old Alabama. The towers that hold the power lines right by the power plant we twisted in strange ways, and there were probably hundreds of trees down. I was trying to post a video, but I’m having trouble converting it. Maybe I’ll try tomorrow.

Another Wonderfully Beautiful Day

Today is absolutely beautiful! It’s been a wonderful day too. Freedom was great. Loved the sermon. I came home and I am currently in the process of coloring Easter eggs.  I’m really excited about how they’ll turn out. I boiled the eggs, then took them outside and sprayed them with black chalkboard paint. As soon as they dry all the way, I’m going to decorate them with chalk. They should be pretty cute! I got some interesting looks from the neighbors on their back porch because I was painting eggs black in the middle of the front yard. It was pretty funny. They’re always wondering what I’m up to because there’s never a dull moment. I’ll have to post pictures of some of those cute little eggs as soon as I finish them.

Tomorrow is a school day, which means I should probably do my math homework. The seniors are leaving for their cruise in the morning. I am going to miss them so, so, so much! I will definitely be an emotional wreck when they graduate. Some of those seniors are such great people to be around. I’ll probably miss Bree he most because she kind of “adopted” me as her little sister when I was in elementary school. I’ll miss talking to her and getting random little notes in my locker from her. I told her I’m driving to North Carolina every weekend to see her. I doubt Mom and Dad would let me though. haha.

On a totally different note, I’m leaving for Pennsylvania in about two weeks. I am so excited! This is going to be an AMAZING trip. We’re going to Hershey, PA, and then to Lancaster County to the Amish Country. That is going to be an experience I will never forget. We’re flying, which I’m slightly nervous about. I haven’t been on a plane since like, 3rd grade. But, I’ll probably be fine once I get on. Well, I am going to color my eggs. I put up pictures in a little while.

One Crazy Long Day

So, as everyone knows, last night and this morning were pretty much crazy in Alabama and Georgia. There were tornadoes out the wazoo. I was in Alabama through this entire thing, and all we got were storms with hail and some high winds. No tornadoes here. Well, I called around checking on people this morning, and I was delighted to find that everyone was okay, even if they were hanging out in their garage with their pet goats all day. I called the barn to check on my darling Sky because the news said that Taylorsville was torn up and some fatalities had been reported. I was extremely concerned when nobody picked up the barn phone and Ms.Cathy didn’t answer her cell phone. But, I did get Rebecca on the phone and she said that she talked to Anna and everyone had been huddled in the tack room all day. I was relieved to say the least. I probably got ten calls today from people wanting to know if I was still alive. I love my friends!

So, I went to Maygan and Warren’s wedding in the middle of all this, and it was absolutely beautiful and so incredibly sweet. I got to see so many people that I hadn’t seen in YEARS. Like…maybe 9 years. It was insane! It was nice to see them. I couldn’t really fully enjoy the wedding because I was so worried about some of my friends and family back home.

My dad and brother had a huge “God moment” earlier today. They went to Cagle’s junkyard to find two little clicky things that the seat-belts go into for my car. I was in Alabama watching the weather with Mom and Nana, and we saw that there was a tornado warning right near the junkyard, so we called Dad and told him to go home. Later that morning, when I called Rebecca to check on things at the barn, she said that Darby’s grandmother’s house had been blown away. (Darby’s dad owns the junkyard, and her grandmother lives right next to it.) I didn’t think she meant that it was literally gone, I just assumed there was damage. We called Dad again and told him to check on things over there. He called Darby’s dad, and Rebecca was right. Dad and Mitchell had been parked between Granny’s house and her shed while they were at the junkyard. An hour or two after they left, the house…gone, the shed…gone. God is so great. He protected my family, as well as Darby’s. For that, I am extremely grateful.