Where I’d Like to Be

Over the past couple of months, I have asked myself the same question multiple times every single day. That question is, “Madi, what do you really want? What is it that you so desperately want and are relentlessly pursuing so hard?” I have known what I want, but have had a hard time putting it into words. Here’s what I want: I want a relationship with God that is so unbeliveably deep and intimate that others find it hard to understand. I want to go so much farther than I’ve ever gone before, and I just need a some guidance on how I can get there. I don’t want to leave my Salvation as it is. I want to do something with it. Through this awesome relationship with God that I am so longing for, I want to at least make a dent in this crazy, corrupted world that we all live in. I’ve been going about my life for so, so long just “waiting on the world to change” so to speak. I’ll think of all these changes that need to be made, and I’m ready for the day when I decide to do something about it. I am so unsatisfied with my current relationship with God. I want SO MUCH MORE, and I know I can get there. I’m going to have to work at it. I need to trust God more, let him take control of ALL situations in my life, and I need to make more time to just focus on Him with absolutely NO distractions. I’m really pumped about FreedomGeneration because I believe that it will help me, along with scads of other teens to really “experience God” and all that He has to offer me. I know that it’s way more than I’m taking right now. I’m so relieved to have figured this out because it has literally been plaguing my mind every single second of every single day even to the point of tears. I’m ready to take the next step. I’m just waiting on some instructions.

A Little Cheesy Sounding, But gets the Point Across

This is actually a monologue that I was going to use when I auditioned for a play. I did not end up using it because it was an extremely awkward thing to do by yourself (switching characters all the time), but I turned it into a dialogue and decided to share it on this blog. It may sound kind of cheesy as you are reading it, but it has a very good message. It would make a nice skit.

“It is Finished”
 
Characters: Bob(main guy talking), a chef, a construction worker,
an accountant, and Jesus

Bob: Have you ever had one of those dreams that was so real you
could not only see it, you could feel it and smell it? I had one of those.
In my dream, this chef, dressed in a white chef's jacket and one
of those big puffy chef's hats, came up to me carrying a fryingpan and said,

Chef: Your omelet is done.

Bob: Sure enough, there in the pan was my favorite omelet, fluffy
and light, ready to eat.
Then the chef said something odd. He said,

Chef: Would you like me to cook it some more?"

Bob: Didn't you say it was done?

Chef: Yes. It is done. Would you like me to cook it some
more?

Bob: What would happen if you cooked it more?

Chef: It would get dry and rubbery. Would you like me to
cook it some more?

Bob: No, of course not! It's done.
Then, as suddenly as he appeared the chef disappeared and a man
wearing blue jeans and a tool belt approached me. He said,

Construction Worker: Well, your construction project is all finished."

Bob: "Good." I said. "I'll get my check book."
But then he said something odd. He asked,

CW: Or maybe I should do some more cutting and hammering
on it?

Bob: Wait a minute. Didn't you just say that the construction
project was finished? 

CW: Well, yes, but I could do some more cutting and
hammering.

Bob: What good would that do?

CW: It wouldn't do any good. In fact, it would probably
mess things up. But I could do more if you'd like.

Bob: And when I opened my eyes again, there was my accountant
standing there with two checks- one to pay for the omelet and
one to pay for the construction project. He offered me a pen and
said,

Accountant: Sign here.

Bob: After I signed the two checks, he smiled and said,

Accountant: Paid in full! Would you like me to write
each of them another check?

Bob: But why?! You said they were paid in full!

Accountant: Oh, they are, but I could write them each another
check, if you like.

Bob: What possible benefit would it be to me to write them a check
when I don't owe them anything?!

Accountant: Actually, there would be no benefit at all. But you
could do it if you want to.

Bob: Huh?And when I opened my eyes there was Jesus hanging
 on the cross.He said,

Jesus: It is done. It is finished. It is paid in full.

Bob: Then he looked down at me and said,

Jesus: Hey, Bob, what part of FINISHED don't you
understand?!

Bob: That's how I knew it was just a dream. I do not think that Jesus ever
audibly called my name while he was on the Cross.
 But my dream gave me something to think about.
Sometimes I act as if Jesus' death on the Cross was not enough
 to pay for all my sins. Sometimes I act as if Jesus never said "It is finished."

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This is oh-so true. Why do so many people find it so hard to believe that Jesus' great
sacrifice is not sufficient to cover all of our sins?

Nothing of Consequence

I know that lately I have written about absolutely nothing of consequence or interest to any person on the face of this planet. I apologize for being so boring. I was a little “off” for a while, if you know what I mean. I had slid from where I need to be, to a little spot of mediocrity in my life. I hate it when that happens. I always feel like the most awful person on planet Earth when I know I’m not reaching my full potential in Christ. I had definitely not been giving my all in my relationship with Him. But, things are back to the way that they should be now. I believe that having that very short season of mediocrity was actually somewhat of a blessing. It made me want God more and more when I realized that I had drifted away. It was only a few weeks, but it felt like YEARS. You have absolutely no idea. Wanting God is a very important thing to me. If I don’t have that burning desire to be as close to Him as I possibly can, I feel like I don’t need Him as much as I KNOW in my heart that I do. I am absolutely nothing without my Jesus, and I can do nothing without Him. I’m praying that my renewed fire will easily be transferred to other people throughout my school and my community whom I am totally DESPERATE to reach out to.

Jesus in the Turn Lane

There I was, driving to school on September 1, 2008 at approximately 7:39 a.m.  I was on Old Mill, getting into the turn lane to hang a left into the school parking lot. I was just minding my own business waiting for some kind soul to let me in, when a totally random semi pulls out of the school parking lot. (Maybe he was bringing frozen food or something, but morning drop-off is not the ideal time to do that) As we all know, semis make “wide right turns.”  Well, this semi  begins to turn straight into the TURN LANE  where  I was sitting in my little red  Explorer named Sweet Tea. I kind of began to think, “Well, this is pretty much the end of it. I am about to meet Jesus in the middle  of this turn lane with the general public as my witnesses that there was nowhere to turn.” The truck kept coming closer and closer. This is when I kicked the car into reverse, and prayed that nobody was behind me. Oddly enough, there wasn’t. Any other school morning, there would have been a line of cars behind me…but not this morning. That truck backed me all the way to the end of the turn lane before finally getting over in its own lane. I know that God was totally protecting me this morning, because if a car had been behind me, I would have been a goner. Needless to say, I am so thankful that I made it through those school doors this morning!