Anticipation

Well, I figured that I should probably share “The Plan” with all 3 of my blog readers. ha. If all goes as planned, we will be having an Election Day Prayer Rally at the flagpole of ECA on Tuesday, November 4. It is going to be great. I’m pretty excited. Even if only a few people actually show up, it will be all right because even coming from one person, prayer can be a powerful thing. This prayer rally is not going to be biased- we are not going to pray that any particular candidate wins the presidency. What we are going to pray for is that God’s will be done, and that whichever man wins will lead the country to the best of their ability, and even beyond that. We will pray that God will give our next president the wisdom and good judgement to make decisions that will be beneficial rather than detrimental. So, with that said, I ask that everyone who knows about this be in prayer about this event. In other words, be in prayer for our prayer. I just have one more person to talk to, and this thing will be nailed down. There’s no going back.

I Have Been Blessed

Madi is currently super excited because some anonymous person just solved a big problem for her!

It’s Coming

I feel like a dedicated blogger right now because I am actually at school, in Mr.Miller’s classroom, updating the world on what I gave you a little glimpse of yesterday. I know that I mentioned FreedomGeneration last night, and I am about to explain in the 15 minutes that I have to type this. Here goes:

On both nights of FreedomGeneration that we have had so far, Pastor JR and Tyler mentioned how much the church believes in us, and how much God believes in us. Let me tell you how big of an eye opener that was to me. Between the two services (September and October) God gave me a mission. It seems like something small (I mean very, very small)  right now, but maybe God has bigger plans for this than I know. I don’t want to mention what it is just yet. I want to get all of the details nailed down, and everything ironed out.

When God gave me the idea to do this, I was sitting there thinking, “God, why me? Nobody listens to me. The only reason some people know that I exist is because the school that I attend is just so small.” Again, there was the confidence issue. I didn’t believe that I can make it happen. But, after Sunday night, hearing all of that encouragement to go out and change the world, I began to think about something. I began to think about how selfish I was to not go through with something just because I didn’t have confidence in my own abilities. I was basically implying to God that he had created a person who does not have the capability to fulfill the dreams and plans that he has for me. I am currently working on dropping those selfish desires. Because, in all reality, it doesn’t matter if I feel like I can’t do it. God tells me that I can. Telling God “NO!” is not exactly something that I try to do. So basically, I am going to make this happen even though I have no idea what the outcome is going to be. I’m pretty excited about it too.

Confidence= Less than Sufficient

Well, let me just say that today was a good day. Strike that…today was a GREAT day considering it was a Monday and all. FreedomGeneration last night was absolutely phenomenal. I need to dedicate an entire post to that because I have something to share. I’ll do that later today or sometime this week. Back to today. Today, I went to school. I walked in a little differently today because I felt a hope that I haven’t felt in a while. I put forth some really great efforts at school. I tried extra-hard in SAT prep and did even better than usual with a calculator that had no batteries. I actually listened and did work in Spanish, which was an accomplishment. In drama, Ms.Rhonda asked if I would like to be a stage manager for the Nutcracker ballet that the local dance studio puts on. Of course, that gave me a great confidence boost. Somebody actually picked me because they believe in me. Things I’ve been learning are showing up in my life everywhere.

I went to the barn this afternoon and rode my beloved Sky. I was having an off-day, and I knew I looked like a 4-H-er (no offense to people in 4-H that compete in the equestrian events, it’s just a term that we use at Taylor Ridge…not all 4-H-ers are bad riders) It was one of those times when you know you’re not doing your best even though you’re trying really hard. It was kind of a bummer. I talked to Ms.Cathy about some stuff that’s been going on, and we went to turn out Spot and Spottier (Sky and Breezy). She started talking about how Breezy cannot be without Sky and how Syd wanted to take Breeze to a show in 3 weeks, and how Breeze would pitch a fit without Sky. Then she looked at me and asked me if I wanted to go to the show, I was like, “Sure.” I thought she meant to help out with the horses and making sure the little ones were where they needed to be when they needed to be there. Then she said, “Of course you’d have to get some boots, jods, a shirt, and a jacket.” I just kind of stared at her. She wanted me to ride Sky at a horse show. She had never asked me that before. I had always thought that it was because I’m not good enough. Apparently, it was because I had never asked to go. I gave the answer, “I’ll think on it.” with a tone that implied “Probably a no.”

Would you like to know why I turned down that opportunity? It’s because I have no confidence. I don’t know if that’s noticeable when a person talks to me, but it’s true. I’m afraid of being horrible at something in public. (We wouldn’t be total failures, but we’re not as good as the best) Now I’m kind of kicking myself. I REALLY want to go, but I’m afraid I don’t have the skills to compete, and I will not be able to practice enough over three weeks. There’s also the clothes dilemma. It’s an English show, and I only have western attire. I’d have to look under couch cushions to scrounge up a couple hundred dollars. Like that’s gonna happen. I guess I can go next season, when I’ve worked up the confidence.

A Laid-Back but Not-so-Lazy Day

If that makes any sense at all. I slept in so late this morning. (like 10) I took my time getting ready, and I trekked out to that fabulous place where my horse lives…aka: the barn. It was such a beautiful day to spend out there. I was alone for about an hour because Ms.Cathy and Syd went to Tractor Supply to pick up feed right before I got there. I find that being alone at the barn is a great time for reflection. It’s also a great time to pray. The atmosphere is so relaxing (when you’re alone). I raked the barn aisle, stroked Sky until she was sick of it, and laid in the grass, staring up at the big, blue sky.

When Ms.Cathy got back, we piled into the Yukon and went to KFC for lunch. My mind was so not on the chicken. It’s always thinking about totally different things that what I’m doing at the present moment. On the way back, we stopped in the parking lot of a gas station where kittens had been sighted before. We looked for them, and had no luck, so we went back to the barn.

Of course, I had to get Sky out and clean her up. I was too lazy to tack up, so I jumped on bareback, and we trotted around for a bit. Then, I rode Tomahawk for my second time. He is such an awesome horse. I just couldn’t get enough, so I rode Domino for the first time ever. She has an amazing lope, I just loved it. Nothing of consequence happened. You have read this entire post, only to find that there was no point or exciting ending. Not even a single great adventure. Maybe tomorrow…

Owns my Soul

It has been too long since I’ve posted. I used to write every stinkin day. Now…I rarely do. This is because drama, science team, and y-club own my soul. Not really…just hypothetically speaking. It’s not even tech week for the play yet, and I’m feeling the pressure. I’m exctited though. I think this play with the singing and dancing is going to boost my confidence. I could always use that.